Reform Jewish Lifecycles at Shaare Emeth
Jewish life is marked by sacred moments that help us celebrate, grow, connect, and remember. In the Reform Jewish tradition, life cycle events offer opportunities to deepen our relationship with Judaism, community, and God—from welcoming a new child through baby naming and brit milah, to marking milestones such as Consecration, B’Mitzvah, Confirmation, conversion, and marriage. They also provide pathways for comfort, healing, and remembrance during times of illness, loss, mourning, and Yizkor.
At every stage of life, in moments of both profound joy and deep sadness, Shaare Emeth’s clergy is here to guide, support, and care for our members and their families, helping to bring meaning, connection, and Jewish tradition to life’s most significant moments.
To notify us of a Life Cycle event, please call the Temple Office at 314-569-0010 or e-mail us.
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Birth
Hebrew Names
In Biblical times, the Jewish people did not have surnames; they were known by their name and the name of their parents. Cain ben Adam v’ Eve, or Cain, son of Adam and Eve, was quite common. Today, we honor that tradition by bestowing upon our children Hebrew names in baby naming ceremonies. The name is up to the parents or guardians; it can sound like the secular/English name, such as Samuel and Shmuel, it can start with the same letter or sound, be a name that is significant to the family, or any other reason! Often, individuals choose a name that commemorates a relative who has passed to honor that person’s memory. Some Jews name children after those who are living, as well.
It is said in the Talmud that the night before a name is chosen, an angel comes down and whispers the name into the ear of the parents. Many consider the very essence and personality of a soul will be bound to the person for whom he or she is named. It is considered best to choose the name of a person with a great respect for learning and who was known for doing good deeds and living a long, fruitful life.
Judaism offers special ceremonies for parents to express their wonder and gratitude at the arrival of a new baby to the family. At this time, parents welcome the child into the covenant of the Jewish People.
Brit Milah & Baby Naming
Circumcision or Brit Milah is an ancient Jewish custom performed on a healthy baby boy, traditionally on the 8th day of life. A mohel or a doctor can perform the procedure. The child may also be given their Hebrew name at this time.
Baby naming ceremonies can be held at any time, most often in the first few weeks of life, although many choose to celebrate it on the 8th day as well. A naming ceremony introduces the baby to family and friends and is cause for great celebration! The ceremony can take place in people’s homes or at the synagogue, performed by a rabbi in a relatively brief service.
The members of our clergy team are happy to celebrate these important life cycle events with you and your family. For more information or to schedule a time to meet with a member of the clergy, please contact Stacy Jespersen by email or at 314-692-5302.
Consecration
Consecration marks the celebration of the beginning of a student’s formal Jewish learning. It includes kindergarten students or those who are new to the religious school post-kindergarten. Consecration occurs on a Friday evening during Shabbat services, on or close to Chanukah. All students receive a blessing from the congregation to mark the start of their relationship with Jewish education.
For more information regarding Consecration, please contact our Religious School team by email or at 314-569-1273.
Confirmation
Confirmation marks the completion of our 8th–10th grade Tikkun program to signify the point at which Jews become responsible for their own observance of Judaism’s religious obligations. It is not the completion of Jewish learning, because Judaism is a lifelong process. Instead, it is a point in time where young Jews can celebrate their education and commitment to Judaism.
The Service of Confirmation usually takes place on a Shabbat evening in May. The service is planned, written, and created by the class in partnership with our Clergy and Worship team. Students have the chance to share what they have learned over the years and mark the end of this phase of their formal Jewish learning. Students continually speak about how Confirmation is one of the highlights of their Jewish educational journey at Shaare Emeth, and those memories last a lifetime.
Visit this page for more information about Tikkun, or contact our Religious School team by email or at 314-569-1273.
Conversion
The process of choosing Judaism is unique to each person who takes the journey. Some may choose to become Jewish through the experience of falling in love with a Jewish person and deciding to join their lives in marriage. Some may choose Judaism as they raise Jewish children. Some who have no other connection to the Jewish community seem to know they were meant to be Jewish all along.
Congregation Shaare Emeth’s clergy are available to meet with those who wish to convert to Judaism and guide their Jewish studies.
Many Jews-by-Choice begin their study with an Introduction to Judaism course, offered through the five St. Louis-area Reform congregations. Click here for information on the current or upcoming session.
For more information on Introduction to Judaism classes throughout the year or to schedule a time to speak with a clergy member, call the front office at 314-569-0010 or email Stacy Jespersen.
Marriage
Have you recently gotten engaged and begun planning your wedding? Mazel Tov! The members of our clergy team are honored and delighted to guide you through this sacred time.
- The Rabbi(s) and/or the Cantor are pleased to officiate at the wedding of congregants or children of congregants.
- You must make an appointment with the clergy of your choice in advance of selecting the date for the wedding.
- It is also important that you meet well in advance of the ceremony to discuss the service and any special requests for the ritual or music content that you may have.
- Some couples desire that another Rabbi or Cantor participate in the ceremony with our Rabbi(s) and Cantor. Our clergy will co-officiate with another clergy if it is discussed in advance, preferably when setting the date.
To schedule an appointment with a member of the clergy, contact Stacy Jespersen by email or at 314-692-5302.
Illness
The support of your religious community can be a comforting factor when recovering from an illness. If you or someone you love is struggling with an illness, please let us know. Notifying us of hospitalizations and admissions to rehab and long-term care communities is also appreciated. Our clergy make frequent visits to the local hospitals and long-term care centers, but they cannot visit if they don’t know who’s there!
Please let Stacy Jespersen know of any current or upcoming hospitalizations (i.e. for surgery) or illness at 314-692-5302 or by email.
Are you in need of a meal, a caring visit, or a phone call? Congregation Shaare Emeth’s 200+ Chesed/Caring Committee volunteers are here to lend a hand. Find additional information here.
Death
Congregation Shaare Emeth and our clergy are here for you in your time of need. Please reach out with any questions, concerns, or for support.
If a loved one has passed or a death is near, the funeral home will coordinate with our staff and clergy to make all of the arrangements. If you have questions, reach out to Stacy Jespersen by email or at 314-692-5302.
New Mt. Sinai Cemetery
Congregation Shaare Emeth and Congregation Temple Israel co-own New Mt. Sinai Cemetery, a historic Jewish cemetery, located at 8430 Gravois Road, St. Louis, MO 63123.
Funeral & Burial
The death of a loved one is so often a painful and confusing time for members of the family and dear friends. We recommend referencing this guide to assist you in planning the funeral, as it offers a wealth of helpful information on the centuries-old Jewish burial and mourning practices. Excerpts from the guide are provided here:
Clergy’s Role in the Funeral Service
Usually, the rabbi or cantor will lead the funeral prayers and deliver a eulogy. In order to prepare for these tasks, the clergy will wish to meet with family members before the funeral, either in one of their homes or at the synagogue. The clergy will ask family members to provide a description of the deceased person’s character and the lessons that may be learned from that person’s life.
The Eulogy (Hesped)
The eulogy (Greek for “nice words” or “praise”) or hesped (Hebrew for “beating the breast”) is among the most important elements in a funeral service. It should offer praise but not excessive praise, evoke the deceased’s essential qualities and virtues, passions, interests and hobbies, community involvements and contributions, and the names of the most important family members and closest friends should be noted. It should reflect as well what the deceased would want to say to their children, grandchildren, and friends, as a summary of their life. The hesped is expected to evoke honestly the character and nature of the deceased.
Prayers Said at the Funeral and Burial
Both traditional and modern readings are read by clergy at the funeral service and include passages from the book of Psalms (16, 23, 37, 90, 103, 121, and 144). The memorial prayer (El Malei Rachamim) includes the Hebrew name of the deceased and affirms that the soul of the departed has been gathered unto God. The Mourner’s Kaddish is said at the graveside.
Shiva
Judaism offers prayers and rituals to bring you comfort and strength upon the death of a loved one. The wisdom of our tradition teaches that this is not a time to be alone; instead, it is a time to be with family, friends, and the community. This is where the custom of sitting shiva plays an important role.
Shiva is the seven-day period of mourning following the burial of a loved one. During this time, it is customary for friends and family to comfort those in mourning by visiting the home for prayer and to recall the memories you shared with your loved one. Shiva is derived from the Hebrew word for seven, ‘sheva,’ שֶׁבַע. It implies that the family sits shiva for seven days following the burial. However, it is becoming more and more common for families and friends to sit shiva for as few as one day following the burial. Ultimately, you should do what is comfortable and makes sense for you and your family.
Be sure to take care of yourself during this time of mourning as well; stay hydrated and try to eat. Let your family and friends help. You don’t have to go through this alone. Your Shaare Emeth family is here for you as well. See how our team of Chesed/Caring Committee volunteers can help during this difficult time.
Yahrzeit & Yizkor
Yahrzeit in Yiddish translates to ‘time of year.’ As Jews, we focus on carrying the memory of those before us ‘l’dor v’dor’ from generation to generation.
On the yearly anniversary of a person’s death, the Mourner’s Kaddish is recited, and a special, long-burning candle is lit at sundown on the night prior to the anniversary. It burns for 24 hours. It is a time to reflect upon the person who has passed, the legacy he or she has left behind, and to remember and share stories of our loved one.
Perpetual Memorials
One way of honoring our loved ones in perpetuity is by establishing a perpetual memorial. At Congregation Shaare Emeth, we have memorial walls and plaques that identify those whom we have lost whose families chose to contribute to the temple in a loved one’s memory. Establishing a Perpetual Memorial means that a plaque will be engraved with your loved one’s name and you will receive a notification prior to the yahrzeit, or anniversary of death. You can also have others notified prior to the yahrzeit as well. Finally, the name will be read at our Shabbat service by the Rabbi on the Friday night during the week of the yahrzeit in perpetuity. Long after we are gone, those names will still be read and remembered by our Shaare Emeth community.
Our week goes from Sunday to Saturday. If a yahrzeit occurs on a Tuesday, the name of your loved one will be read on the following Friday. If the yahrzeit occurs on a Saturday, it will be read the day before at our Kabbalat Shabbat services on Friday.
For clarification on when a name will be read, or for information about establishing a perpetual memorial, please contact Stacy Jespersen by email or at 314-692-5302.
If you cannot attend services to hear the name of your loved one and recite the Mourner’s Kaddish, please consider joining us virtually. Our services are broadcast through a live stream on our website.
If for any reason you would like a name read on a different Shabbat, please let us know. We are happy to accommodate and read any name on any Shabbat of your choosing. This includes those who have not yet established a Perpetual Memorial.
Yizkor
Yizkor comes from the root word ‘zakhor’ which means to remember. Four times each year, it is tradition in Judaism to participate in a memorial service in the synagogue to honor those who have passed: on Yom Kippur, Simchat Torah, Passover, and Shavuot.
You are invited to join Congregation Shaare Emeth in our Yizkor services. Please check our worship calendar or call the temple office for more information and dates.
